Punish Me
by K.Blood
Summary: Dee lives for a challenge; the kind of confrontation which makes her blood boil and stretches her resolve to its limits. Julian is about to give that to her. (chapters 2of3 posted)
1. Chapter 1

_*Before you start the story please read the below disclaimer. It's very important.*_

.

**Disclaimer:** The Forbidden Game Trilogy and all its characters were created and are owned by _Lisa Jane Smith_.

This is just a fan story based on _her_ works, using _her_ characters. All rightful credit is given to _her_. I make no profit from this.

**www. fanfiction .net**** and ****www. adultfanfiction .net**** are the **_**only**_** sites where this story is posted.**

If you see it anywhere else (in any other form) please let me know because that means it was stolen. Thank you.

.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

**Summary:** Dee lives for a challenge; the kind of confrontation which makes her blood boil and stretches her resolve to its limits. Julian is about to give that to her.

**Setting:** Set during _The Chase_, chapter 7. This is around the time (before the start of the second game) when Jenny's friends are all experiencing strange and unnerving dreams/happenings* thanks to Julian fucking around with their heads. My imagination took the potential of this concept and ran with it—also I've been craving some Dee/Julian dynamics.

*(_In the book Dee's thing—if you don't remember—was that she woke up to see a shadowy figure leaning out of her bedroom wall and staring down at her.)_

**Originally Completed/Posted: **August 2013

**Rating/Warnings:** Rated-16+ (anyone age 16 and over). For language, violence (the fisticuffs kind), suggestive torture and gore, and some suggestive stuff of a sexual nature. This is not a "fluffy" Julian fic. He has attitude and a mean streak. Be warned.

**Distribution/Sharing:** Links only, please. No translations or reprints.

**Word Count: **3,248

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

.

**Author's Notes:** The title comes from the German song _Bestrafe Mich_ by the band Rammstein. _Bestrafe Mich_ (translated into English) means—yep, you guessed it— "_Punish Me_."

Ever since reading FG, I've always liked toying with the idea that Dee sort of has a secret crush on Julian. Don't get me wrong, she hates him, she just can't help admiring him at the same time. I figure it would be a love/hate thing (and something she would be in complete denial over). This story is just me playing with that concept. I hope you enjoy it.

.

.

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**Punish Me**

**By: K. Blood**

**-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-**

**~ Chapter I ~**

Dee opened her eyes and knew instantly something wasn't right.

She sat up in bed and looked around, trying to figure out why her instincts were on high alert. Her bedroom was as it should be. The walls where still painted golden-ocher. The built-in teak shelves still held the various sculptures Aba had made for her, along with the African masks and other trinkets she'd given Dee from her travels. The complete home gym was still nestled in the corner and the leather cushions Dee liked to lounge on were still tossed here and there on the floor. Everything was as it should be—only it wasn't. It took Dee a little longer to understand why.

It was the light.

Before going to bed Dee had switched the bedroom light off and, as she looked toward the ceiling, she saw it was still off. Her gaze went to the room's only window. The view outside was nothing but black sky. It didn't make sense. Her light was off and it was obviously still night out, yet the room was lit as well as if it was day. As she thought about it, it occurred to Dee that her bedroom was illuminated in that strange fashion which only seemed to happen...in dreams.

Dee was up and at the window with a speed that would have seemed almost superhuman if anybody had been around to witness it. She pulled on the window and then yanked when it refused to budge. When it became apparent the thing wasn't going to open Dee pressed her forehead against the cold glass. Her eyes jerked this way and that, fearfully searching the blackness outside. Her heart was pounding embarrassingly fast and a chilled sweat had broken out on the back of her neck.

No blinking red lights appeared. No swirling white ones or slender neon beams, either. No sign of silver disks or ugly swollen-headed creatures with empty stares and sharp metal tools. Just the tops of the eucalyptus trees in the backyard, and that was all.

Dee felt only mildly better. The tension in her body refused to ease up. Her warm breath had left a white patch on the surface of the glass and she absently wiped it away as she turned around to face the room. Nothing had changed.

It was her room, but at the same time it wasn't. Both real and surreal. Dee knew she was awake but the odd sense of being in a dream refused to leave her. She had felt this same sensation only once before and, as she thought about that evening of nightmares in a paper house, her anxiety continued to grow.

The bedroom door was where is should be. Taking up a defensive stance (just in case) Dee gripped the knob and swung the door open. Nothing leaped out at her. The sight that greeted her shouldn't really have been all that surprising. Still, she stared out at the hallway in stunned silence.

The hall was long, going indefinitely in either direction, and was poorly lit by candles in brass holders placed far apart along the walls. The wallpaper reminded her vaguely of the Haunted Mansion at Disneyland. It was exactly like, if not one of the same, hallways she and the others had stumbled through as they were forced to face their worst fears.

Question after question swarmed around inside her head: What the heck was going on? Was this another game? Were her friends here too? If so, where? Were they in danger? Was _**she **_in danger?

Panic bit at her nerves and Dee knew it wouldn't do her any good to give into it. She needed to calm down so she could think rationally. Despite her better judgment, she forced her eyes closed. She inhaled deeply and let it out as slowly as she could, focusing on the gentle rise and fall of her chest. As she did, Dee began to mumble a quiet mantra. She had gotten it from an old kung fu movie but it worked well enough. Whatever was going on, or about to happen, she knew she needed to keep her mind sharp and her body ready. Something very bad had happened, that was obvious. She was once again in the paper house and the others were probably here too. She needed to find them. Together they could figure this thing out.

"I am as strong as I need to be. I am my only master," she finished in a whisper and opened her eyes. She felt much better and more in control of herself.

The hallway was slightly chilly, making Dee realize she was still dressed in the outfit she'd gone to bed in: only a white tank-top and a pair of white cotton panties. Dee glanced over her shoulder to where the dresser stood against the wall. She considered snagging a pair of pants but then thought better of it. The dresser looked just as innocent as every other furnishing in the room, but Dee didn't trust it. The thought of slipping an unguarded foot into the dark, gaping hole of any pair of pants she took from it didn't seem all that appealing.

_To hell with it_, she told herself. She didn't need pants, anyway. The lack of them would actually make it easier to move—to fight—if she needed to. Which she knew she probably would.

The hallway, with its poor lighting and endless shadows, was intimidating but Dee refused to let it unnerve her. She picked a direction at random and started walking. She was only about a foot away when the sudden bang of a slammed door caused her to jump. She pivoted around, taking up a fighting stance as she did so. The sound had belonged to the door of her false bedroom, only now the space where the door had once been was just another blank spot of wall.

Dee's eyes remained sharp and her body ready, but nothing else happened. She wasn't surprised to find herself slightly disappointed at this. The abrupt burst of adrenalin had left her feeling as if electricity coursed through her veins. She was wired and ready, and nothing had yet to leap from the shadows and offer up an outlet for her wild surge of energy.

A couple meditative breaths were required to help ease her back down. Dee continued onward, searching for her friends. There wasn't much to see. Candles, gloom, and the same creepy wallpaper over and over again. The darkness ahead looked thick enough to smother her but as she walked on it remained always just out of reach. Dee wasn't sure how long she walked. It could have been hours, or only minutes. It was hard to tell. Time felt different. It was off somehow, as if her perception of its passing couldn't be trusted.

Time did pass, however, even if Dee couldn't tell exactly how much. Eventually she came to the end of the hallway. Here a staircase stood. It was wide, carpeted down the middle, and led up into a darkness which was the deepest black she had ever seen.

She took a step forward and then paused. Dee eyed the way she had just come from, debating on whether or not she should stay on this level. What if one of her friends was still here, somewhere? She worried the inside of her cheek between her teeth as she thought it over. Should she go back or continue onward? As she stared down the hallway something moved in the distance, just beyond the dim light of a candle. Automatically, her hands fisted.

"Hello?" she called, hoping it was one of the others and not some disfigured creepy-crawly. She recalled another time she had been alone in one of these hallways. There had been a door, and behind the door... Well, to say the least, she had been _**very**_ glad when Jenny showed up to help her force that door closed again. But perhaps this time the monsters weren't imprisoned behind closed doors. What if this time they were running free?

The darkness in the hall shifted. From it drifted a low snarl and suddenly Dee knew what she was looking at. The shadow was large and hunched over, the head down low to the floor. Pale eyes caught a flutter of candle light and blazed metallic for just an instant. Another shape moved near it, swaying-like. Dee wasn't at all surprised to see this one here, too. She thought she caught sight of something near the ceiling which could have been a flickering tongue. The darkness kept them mostly obscured but every so often a glimpse of a furry snout or a patch of scaly hide came into the light.

The Lurker and the Creeper.

Well that was just great.

They made no move to attack her, instead remaining in place like sentries. Okay, she could take a hint. It appeared she wouldn't be permitted to head back down the hallway. The very thought was almost enough to make Dee want to try, anyway. But she was stubborn, not stupid. Each guarding beast was a mass of muscle and teeth, and she didn't even have socks on. There was only one way a fight like that could end.

Since they didn't come any closer Dee took a chance and looked away from them to eye the only other possible way to go—up stairs. Only there was something moving there, too.

From the blacker than black darkness at the top a figure emerged and casually descended the steps. Behind her Dee heard the snake hiss and the wolf growl, as if excited. Now she was blocked off from both sides. Between fight or flight there was only one choice left. Honestly it was the one Dee would have picked anyway, even if the odds were stacked against her. She felt her heart pump faster as her body melted into a familiar combative stance.

The figure reached the bottom, stepping into the soft haze of candlelight. It cast amber highlights over his quicksilver hair and gave the smile on his face a sinister edge.

"Lovely Deirdre," he said, as if they were old friends. Over his attire of all black he wore a long leather duster, hands resting in the pockets.

Dee was very much aware of the quickening rise and fall of her chest. Her short nails bit into the skin of her palms but she refused to relax her fists. "Where are the others?"

Julian arched an eyebrow. His twilight-blue irises appeared to glow softly. Dee imagined the eyes of the monsters behind her doing the same.

"Others?"

"My _friends_. The others. Where are they? What are you doing to them?" Her tone made it clear she was demanding answers, not asking questions.

Not intimidated in the slightest, Julian replied, "There isn't anyone else."

Dee sneered. "And why don't I believe you. Now where the hell are my friends?"

He tsked and shook his head. "Such language. And from such an elegant face. Do you know you're the image of Ankhesenamun, one of the greatest beauties of Egypt? But I've already told you that, haven't I."

His tone sounded teasing, as if he was enjoying himself. Dee hardened her glare, the urge for violence evident in her expression. The Shadow Man was dangerous. Nefarious and cruel, and the most pigheaded jerk Dee had ever known. But more importantly, he was a challenge.

During the game, after learning more about him from Jenny, Dee had found herself practically bouncing on the heels of her feet to get a chance to confront him. Once they had made it to the turret she finally got the chance. It had been quick and painful, leaving her feeling more disappointed in herself than anything else. She had sworn throughout the game she would _"kick the Shadow Dude's ass" _if given the chance, and when that chance finally came... With one lightening-fast move he had seized her kicking leg and knocked her on _**her**_ ass.

_Rule One in this Game_, he had gloated with a smile, his voice like black velvet as Dee pulled her sore body off the floor. _Don't mess with me. I'll beat you every time._

And then he had dismissed her. Turned back to Jenny and continued on as if Dee had been nothing more than a mild irritant. Like a buzzing gnat, deserving a wave of the hand and little else.

In that moment Dee had felt a lot of things. Anger. Embarrassment. Frustration. But she had also felt a sense of intrigue. Standing there in the turret, lungs pounding and teeth bared, Dee couldn't quite shake off the lingering tingles from the brief tussle. She had found herself left with the peculiar need to have him turn those wicked eyes back her way, to confront her again.

But he hadn't.

For an instant—and _**just**_ an instant—Dee had actually felt bitter towards Jenny.

There was just something so primitive and basic about the Shadow Man. A savage, unapologetic wildness Dee found her own inner brute responding to. Like one predator butting heads with another. This time was no different, except now they were alone.

Dee felt her blood pressure spike. The familiar vibrant energy surged through her body at the thought of challenging the Shadow Man once again. Only this time it would be different, she would see to that. She knew better now. He wouldn't catch her off guard again. And now there would be no Jenny to distract his attention.

_Just you and me, big boy_, Dee thought, once again practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. She wasn't exactly sure if she could beat him in a straight-up fight, but in that moment the thought was a distant one. "If this is another stupid game you're not playing very fair. Then again, I doubt that matters to you."

Julian regarded her with a patronizing look. "I'm always fair. There's always a way out."

Dee snorted, aware of the beasts behind her making their own little noises. "Yeah, for a price."

"Nothing attained easily is ever worth it."

_Jackass_, she thought. She hated the way he stood there, proud and arrogant, as if he was god or something. She had noticed the almost whimsical look in Jenny's expression whenever she talked about him, even while cursing him for the things he had done to them. On occasion, Dee had even caught the gloss of interest in Audrey's gaze. Dee didn't understand it. What was it about such guys that made girls drop their guard and act like giggling airheads? It was obnoxious to say the least. Especially since most men were dogs. And the way Dee saw it Julian was by far one of the worst. Did he honestly believe kidnapping a girl and terrorizing her was somehow going to make her want to spend eternity with him? God, what a dick.

The Shadow Man was a monster hidden within a pretty shell. He was danger and death. He wasn't something to swoon at; he was an obstacle to be overcome. Still, Dee could admit, if only to herself, that for the first time in her life she understood what it was like to have a guy make your heart beat just a little faster.

It did so now as he took a step closer.

"You don't agree?" Julian continued. "Is there something you want, lovely Deirdre? Something you want so much you'd suffer for it?"

Dee studied him, uncertain of this new little game he was playing. Being called by her given name irritated her to no end, but she held her tongue as she answered honestly: "I'd like to kick your ass."

He smiled at her, looking...charmed? By her?

It threw Dee off a moment. Men didn't look at her like that, ever. They were usually too intimidated. It was the kind of look which made a girl want to run her fingers through her hair and pluck the wrinkles out of her shirt. When a guy looked at you like that you couldn't help wanting to make sure you were at your best. Suddenly Dee felt too exposed in only her plain tank-top and underwear, and she hated herself for feeling that way.

"You're too easy."

She stared at him, uncertain of his meaning. Had he noticed how uncomfortable that look had made her? She hoped not.

Julian smirked, looking handsome in the candlelight. Something malicious danced behind his eyes. "Violence, always your first and only answer. There really isn't much to you, is there?"

Dee's fists tightened at her sides. So this was his game, tossing around petty insults. Well she had a game of her own she wanted to play with him. Something a little more _**physical**_. She took a couple steps closer and barked through clenched teeth, "You don't know a damn thing about me."

"I know a lot of things, actually. All those deep dark little secrets you hold on to so tightly. Afraid your family and friends might learn of them."

He stood just a yard away from her now. Dee sent a brief look over her shoulder to make sure the Creeper and Lurker remained where they were. Discreetly, she place one leg behind the other.

He was still talking: "Strip away all the bravado, all the posturing. You know as well as I do that underneath it all you're just—"

Dee used her stance to propel herself forward. In a split second she had covered the short distance between them, her fist arching toward his face.

"—pathetic," he finished as he seized her forearm in his hands. Dee hardly knew what happened, he was so quick. Using her own momentum against her, Julian yanked her forward as he brought his knee up into her stomach. The blow landed, bringing with it an explosion of crippling pain. Dee gasped, stumbling to her knees with her arms wrapped around her aching belly.

"_Bastard_," she hissed through her teeth. She knew she had to get up but just then her legs felt numb and useless.

From somewhere nearby his voice mocked her. "Like I said, _pathetic_. You really should have seen that one coming. Then again, your intelligence has always been a bit...lacking."

Dee hardly listened, too caught up in her own failure. She had sworn to herself this time would be different, yet with another viper-quick strike he again had her down on the floor, and with seemingly very little effort on his part. The jab to her pride was somehow even worse than the physical pain of her body. It angered her. Even though her limbs felt shaky, Dee forced herself to stand. She absolutely refused to let him beat her so easily.

She had assumed the Shadow Man was standing someplace close to her, but as Dee got to her feet she realized he was gone. She swirled around, ignoring a brief instant of dizziness. The Creeper and Lurker where still there blocking the hall, but Julian himself had disappeared.

"Come on!" Dee shouted to the ceiling, her anger overtaking her pain. "Coward!"

A laugh drifted down to her from the top of the stairs. It was smooth and dark and made a tingle trickle down her spine. Without thinking Dee rushed the steps, taking them two—sometimes three—at a time.

Only a single thought ran through her head.

She was going to make him _**pay**_.

~.~.~.~.~


	2. Chapter 2

**Word Count:** 2,280

**~ Chapter II ~**

"Where the hell are you!" She yelled from the landing. The blackness here was just as thick as it had looked from below. Dee took a couple cautious steps deeper into the darkness. Her eyes could just scarcely make things out. There were dark shapes here and there. One was possibly a small table and another on the wall was most likely an unused candleholder.

She knew she was pissed off and that it was making her reckless, but Dee was having a difficult time controlling her temper enough to care. There was just something about the Shadow Man which got under her skin so badly.

"I'm not afraid of the dark," she spat, continuing deeper into the unlit hallway, feeling the adrenaline surge through her, boosting her courage. The ache in her gut no longer mattered, but the jab to her ego still stung.

"Most people aren't. It's the things _in_ the dark which frighten them."

Dee turned around in a complete circle, forcing her eyes to seek out his outline. "Where are you?"

"Right here."

She still didn't see anything. The jerk was toying with her. Dee grimaced, baring her teeth to the darkness. "Coward."

"Don't flatter yourself."

"Well I'm not the one running, now am I," she said with pride. It was short lived. Suddenly, the magnitude of her situation dawned on her.

She had no clue what was going on, or what kind of game the Shadow Man was playing. What were the rules? Were there even any rules at all? Was there a time limit? How was she suppose to win it? Mostly, Dee hoped her friends were okay. Julian had said they weren't involved but she didn't trust him. Not one little bit.

She heard the creaking sound of metal on wood and spotted a door a little farther down the hall as it opened. Her vision was in no way good, but it was finally starting to adjust to the shadows. She started off in that direction, hoping to see the familiar face of a friend. She came to a quick halt as the outline of something not quite human peeked around the door. She swore to herself, knowing she should have been expecting something like this.

Dee couldn't see it very well but knew exactly what it was by its short stature and the swollen shape of its head. It turned and looked her way, as if it knew exactly where to find her. Dee felt the blood drain from her face and fingers, leaving her feeling cold. Even though she couldn't see them she knew that its empty black, almond-shaped eyes were staring directly at her.

"This doesn't scare me," she said, but she had to force the edge into her tone. Dee fisted her hands, seeking some level of comfort but finding none. The extraterrestrial stepped out of the doorway and shut the door behind it. Its movements were unhurried, but watchful. The fuzzy ebony of its silhouette began to slowly come towards her.

Tremors had started in Dee's fists and were traveling up towards her shoulders. "This isn't real."

"You know it is."

Dee jumped. His voice had sounded so close to her ear she swore she had felt the coolness of his breath.

"No," but even as she said it Dee could feel the familiar phantom itch start up in her thigh.

She tried not to think about the nightmare, but its memories forced their way to the surface. The thing she remembered most vividly was that horrible bright light pinning her down, and the sickening feeling of helplessness as those things crowded around the table. She hated the way they had stared down at her, cold and clinical, as if she wasn't a person but a science project. The fear had been indescribable and Dee had never felt so vulnerable in her whole life. She had been powerless to stop them as one of the alien beings cut into her thigh, inserting one of their shiny instruments deep under her skin. The pain had been terrible, almost as if she was being burned instead of cut open. Dee knew it was only because of Jenny that she had survived the ordeal.

More than a month had passed since the nightmare in the paper house and the wound on Dee's leg was completely healed. The scar it left behind wasn't even that noticeable. Sometimes though, while lying in bed late at night, the pain would return—as it did now.

The extraterrestrial was still coming for her. She could hear its gray, leathery feet skidding over the carpet as it came nearer. It was very close now. Dee stood there, back as straight as a rod. Every fiber of her being begged her to run away. She watched, feeling ill, as its arm lifted and its long, distorted fingers reached out to touch her. It wanted to take her back under that suffocating light and continue its twisted experiments. She didn't know how she knew this, but she did.

"Not real," she repeated, her scar throbbing. Every instinct told her to flee, but she stubbornly refused. Her body was shaking badly now. She wanted to face this thing, to fight it, even if she had to lie repeatedly to herself to keep her body from running away. "Not real."

The cold tips of nail-less fingers brushed against her collarbone. She knew the contact was coming but hadn't been prepared for the strange sensation of its touch. Dee screamed. There was no time to be embarrassed about it. The thing was within reach. Now was the time to let instinct take over. She threw her arm out, her knuckles colliding with cool, dry flesh. The feel of it made her stomach twist.

She hit it again, sending a quick jab to its throat. It stumbled back, not making a sound. It didn't cry out or even grunt. It was eerily silent as its arms frantically grabbed at her with cold and clammy fingers. Dee punched the creature again and jerked back, out of its nauseating reach.

She slammed up against something solid. Before she could think to send an elbow jab behind her, an arm encircled her neck as another wrapped around her waist, pinning her arms at her sides. Like a panicked animal caught in a bear trap, Dee thrashed against the second alien creature now restraining her.

"_No!_" she hollered so loud she was screaming. "_LET GO!_"

Lips brushed against the shell of her ear and she knew immediately who it was.

"If it's not real then why are you so afraid?" His words were laced with a mixture of humor and silk.

Dee pinched her eyes closed. Her face felt hot. Her body trembled against his. She tried to stop it. She didn't want to give the Shadow Man the satisfaction of feeling the evidence of her fear. She was stronger than that. She knew it. The nightmare in the paper house had been a heck of a lot worse than this. Dee tried to calm herself but her erratic heart didn't seem to want to slow down. If the extraterrestrial was somewhere still around it appeared to be keeping its distance.

"You're much weaker when your friends aren't around to help you."

Dee took a deep, broken breath and let it out. She wouldn't let herself listen to anymore of his taunting. "I'm not scared of you."

"Why do you lie to yourself, Deirdre?"

She hated the way he said her name, like a purr melting off his tongue. She had always thought it was such an ugly name, but somehow Julian made it sound elegant.

"You can't pretend with me. I know who you really are." He bent his head and swept his lips up the side of her neck. "I know what it takes to make you _quiver_ with fear."

"Monster," she murmured, ignoring the little sparks his touch left behind. The low sensual timbre of his voice wasn't helping things, either. "Absolutely evil."

Julian chuckled against her. The feel of it tickled her skin. "Monster? You think _I'm_ evil?" He released her and stepped back. His absence left her body feeling oddly alone. She refused to dwell on the thought.

A sharp burst of light blinded her. Dee blinked, forcing her eyes to adjust. She was suddenly afraid she'd find herself back under the horrid white light of the alien ship, but she wasn't. No, this was much worse. Both the alien creature and the gloomy hallway were gone. Dee was now in a very spacious and brightly lit room.

_Because he wants me to see everything_, she thought vaguely as her gaze un-helpingly took in every gory detail laid out on the stone walls around her.

_Sick bastard._

But this wasn't his doing, not really. It was hers. Her memories, her nightmares. When Dee was much younger she had gone to San Francisco with her mother. There had been a place at Fisherman's Wharf, a kind of exhibit, like a chamber of horrors. The things she had seen there—real horrors people had actually done to one another throughout history—had haunted her dreams for years.

"God," Dee muttered under her breath as she took in each grotesque scene.

She willed herself to look away but her body refused to listen. They were torture scenes, each victim's face and pain frozen in time. Each scene had been supplied with its own burning spotlight. Some Dee remembered from before, like The Rack and the Iron Maiden, but others... She had never imagined people could really do such things to each other. But here they were, on display, and she knew in her gut that none of this was make-believe.

The tang of bile danced in the back of her throat. The figures in San Francisco had all been wax replicas, but these...these were real. Dee could smell them. The thick coppery scent of their blood lingered with the sickeningly sour aroma of infection and open flesh. She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth and suppressed the need to vomit. Her knees were shaking terribly and she wasn't at all surprised when they gave out a second later.

Kneeling on the floor, she focused on the rough carpet under her and forced the lines of her mantra through trembling lips. By the end she was struggling to spit each word out. "I am...as strong as...strong as, I—I need, to be. I am, my—"

"Lovely, aren't they?"

"Make them go away." Her voice came out as a whine and she hated it.

"Each and every one of them thought up by the human mind and carried out by human hands."

"Please, just—"

"Jenny thinks I'm a monster." Dee lifted her head to look at him but Julian's gaze was leveled at one of the bloodier displays. He now stood a short distance away, his back to her. There was a faraway quality to his tone, his thoughts obviously elsewhere. His words were just above a whisper. "She doesn't understand."

As out of place as it was, Dee felt a hint of resentment rear its leathery head. She wasn't sure why, but it didn't matter. Now wasn't the time to think about it. She used the anger to force herself back on to her feet. The phantom pain in her thigh was gone now and the ache in her belly was only a dull soreness, easily ignored. "Doesn't understand what?"

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye.

_Too good to turn and face me_, Dee thought bitterly. _If I was Jenny I bet you'd face me._

She continued to use the anger to burn away her fear and nausea. She was almost starting to feel like herself again.

"That's life."

Dee shot out an arm and waved it at the messy horrors around them. "This is life?" she echoed in disbelief.

He faced her then, his eyes gleaming waves of blue-ice. In the brightness of the room he looked shockingly intense, like a predator without fear, hunting in broad daylight. Something both beautiful and frightening. Standing with the mutilated bodies as his backdrop there was no hiding what he was. "Yes."

"That so? Well, I think you're full of shit." Dee felt her panic wanting to return but she put a tight cap on it. She wanted to leave this place and its horrors. She tried not to inhale. Every time she did she caught the spoiled scent of human innards and had to resist the need to gag. "Whatever game you're playing, I'm done with it."

"There's no game, just a joke."

"This is a joke?" Dee snapped. She hoped her expression properly displayed the amount of violence and disdain she felt festering just beneath her skin. She knew she needed to calm down before she did something stupid, but Dee was on her last nerve and it was quickly rubbing thin.

Julian crossed his arms over his chest. He sighed and shook his head, as if she had disappointed him. "Deirdre, you _are_ the joke."

Pure, unhindered rage shot through Dee, boiling her blood and causing her onyx-colored eyes to flash. Rational thought and years of martial arts training told her he was too far away, that an attack from this distance would be foolish. She lunged for him, anyway.

Of course he saw it coming and simply stepped out of the way.

_**Fuck!**_

It was the only coherent thought Dee could manage as she stumbled. Too late, she realized she was going to crash headfirst into the bloodied remains of what might once have been a human being.

~.~.~.~.~


End file.
